i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
