I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
