please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
