none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
