Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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