Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize