my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
