i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
