I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
