He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
