great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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