Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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