So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
