Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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