I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
