You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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