A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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