He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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