And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
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Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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