There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
