also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
