heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
