You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
