dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize