with your own penis?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
