and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
