Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
