they need to just BURY HIM!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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