I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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