There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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