It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
