Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
