Sry I called you an 8
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
