If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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