It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
