fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
