I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I love black thongs
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
