So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
