That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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