4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
