tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
