Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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