Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
