she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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