I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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