hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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