Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
