You smell like a Billy Joel song
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
