something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
third nipple confirmed
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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