Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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