i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
