she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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