oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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