Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
