i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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