I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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