we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
