I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
