you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
