I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
