I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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