We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
