My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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